Just Keep Showing Up
About a month ago, I was on the phone with a friend who I admire a great deal. Actually, I must say that I admire all of my friends in one way or another. Whether it's for their strength, character, vulnerability, or sense of humor, each of my friends has at least one quality that I personally desire to possess and grow in. But I digress.
This particular friend lives far away (I can say this without revealing their identity because, unfortunately, many of my friends live far away). We don't talk frequently, but that doesn't mean our few conversations don't run deep. We typically don't waste much time discussing the superficialities of life, rather we dig beneath the surface and address the core issues that we are experiencing on a day-to-day basis. I believe this is want makes a true friendship.
It's no secret that I've faced some serious trails in my life. I think everyone has. Mine just happened to occur in the spotlight rather than the shadows. I've been told that this makes me one of the lucky ones, but that's a story for another day. During our conversation, this friend shared with me her recent struggle and her decision to work through the issue with a therapist. She said to me, "Brittany, some days I don't want to go and I don't know why I even bother. But I just keep showing up."
I laughed a little, not because it was funny, but because I thought she might finally understand a piece of my own journey. The kind of piece you can only understand having gone through a similar experience yourself. Our conversation didn't solve any problems or reveal the mysteries of the universe, but I think we both hung up the phone feeling a little less alone.
Her words have clung to me even now...more than a month later. I think we all seek healing of some kind. There are times we want to give up the fight; times we don't even know why we bother engaging at all. But whether it's to a therapy session or life in general, we just keep showing up. Sometimes we're fully clothed in armor and other times we hang our heads in rejection and exhaustion. But we're there.
5 Reasons Why I Keep Showing Up
It never leaves me any worse off. Sometimes showing up to life or to an appointment doesn't seem to make much of a difference. The things that cause us pain are rarely resolved in the short-term. But I'm never any worse off as a result of showing up. So I do.
It gives me something to do. Having something on your mind is annoying, but not being able to do anything about it is even worse. It can drive you crazy. Showing up means you're taking action. You might not be sure what the action is or what the result will be, but at least you're doing something. It makes me feel better about myself.
I'm hopeful. Not everyone has this reason; I've lacked it a few dozen times myself. Today I'm here to attest to the fact that hope can be restored. Lives can be transformed. I've seen it and I've experienced it. So even when I don't see hope in a situation, I am hopeful.
It's all I've ever known. It's hard to break a habit, and showing up is one that's been etched into my character since youth. If I felt unprepared, I took the test anyway. If I was exhausted, I ran the race anyway. If I was nervous, I recited my lines anyway. If I was scared, I woke up anyway. If I was weak, I asked for help anyway. If I failed, I tried again anyway. You might not see it in yourself, but I'd challenge you to search for it anyway. If you're reading this, I'm certain you've had every reason not to do something...but done it anyway. You keep showing up because it's all you've ever done.
I'm not ready to give up. I've felt like a failure many times over the years. Just when I think I've defeated a stronghold, I find myself under yet another attack. It's discouraging. I've had many opportunities to give up. Some would say I've even had good reason to do so. But you know what? I'm not ready. I still have fight in me. Each time I admit my weakness, I find a little bit more strength in Christ and suddenly I'm back in the ring. I'm not ready to give up because I know that the battle has already been won. Victory is mine. Who gives up a battle they've already won? While I may have been called crazy a time or two, I'm not foolish. So I keep showing up.
Before I close, I want to make one thing clear. "Showing up" is not equivalent to "fighting". You can still show up, even if you don't have much fight left into. Showing up just means walking through the door. Being present. Engaging in the process. Sometimes you're conquering dragons and other times you're crawling out of bed in the morning. Either way you're showing up. See, you're already doing it :)