tattered edges

I love magazines. Wait, let me rephrase that. I love destroying magazines. There. That’s better.

I’m a collage artist at heart. Always have been, always will be. And I’m more so drawn to words than images. My collages are filled with words and I do each collage in a single sitting. I can’t start one and finish it another day. Each collage is an expression of my being at that moment in time. If I try to replicate that being in order to complete a collage on another day, it just doesn’t work. I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense, it just is. That’s why you won’t see me working on massive canvases. I prefer a mixed media sketchbook and a mega glue stick to create my masterpieces.

So anyway, when you start collaging, you will find yourself drawn to certain magazines. The words and images just speak more to your soul than others. A few of my favorites are Magnolia Journal, Time Magazine, Oprah Magazine, and Flow Magazine. Well I got some sad news. Flow is a Dutch magazine that they translate into English. Well they decided to stop doing that. So no more Flow. And then. AND THEN. I find myself receiving a Good Housekeeping magazine. And I say to myself, “Hmm. I didn’t order this. Maybe it’s a freebie!” And then I read the little letter that came with it. Oprah Magazine will no longer be going to print. No more O. WHAT?!?! I cannot collage with a digital magazine. What is wrong with these people?!?!

So I’m open to ideas of new magazines to destroy. They have to have good words, though. That is essential.

Anyway. Back to my love of magazines. I kinda lied at the beginning. Destroying a magazine isn’t the only thing I love about a magazine. I love that they are full of short stories. When I’m sick (I mean mentally and emotionally sick), I don’t have the brain space to read a novel. But I can handle a page or 2 of text nestled with expressive images. Depending on the magazine, an article has the power to move you emotionally and physically spur you into action. In short, magazine articles hold my attention, captivate my soul, and motivate me to do more with my life than lounge on the couch watching movies all day. Even if it means my next step is to rip it to pieces. Skylar would call that the circle of life.

I’ve been a collage artist for years. I’d say my career began on a psych ward in my early twenties. The pages of my journals during those years are scattered with magazine clippings. Except they’re not really clippings. There is something that I think makes my collages unique (or annoying...your call) and it originated in a psych ward. When I was at my worst, I wasn’t allowed to use scissors. But my soul still desperately sought a way to express itself through collage. So I decided to start tearing everything out with my fingers. And it’s a habit that just stuck. I never ever use scissors to remove a word from a magazine. I’ll frequently cut out images or single letters, but not the words. The words I tear.

Why did the habit stick? I mean there are scissors everywhere in my house. I use them every day. But I love the tattered edges of a torn piece of paper. I think the words and phrases blend together better. I even love how sometimes the word rips in half and I have to piece it back together again when I glue it down. It’s a representation of my life. I’m piecing things back together again. And it’s never a perfect match. And the edges are tattered and rough. But when it’s combined with a whole bunch of other words and phrases, it creates something beautiful. Something meaningful. Something worthy of saving and sometimes of sharing.

A collage from my BAL The Sketchbook Project sketchbook :)