Perfect v. Real
I have no idea what to write about. Seriously. I’ve got nothing. But I want to write and I’m tired of reading through old journals and I haven’t blogged in a while and so I figured I owed ya’ll a post. Even though nobody commented on my last post. But I won’t hold it against ya ;-)
It’s funny how something like that impacts you. Sticks with you. Makes you question your writing...your relevance...your identity. I’m not currently doing any blog hops or anything, so my readers consist of people who have subscribed to my blog. I’m still off Facebook, so I don’t publish my posts on there. Sometimes I wonder if my newsletter is even working. Do people get my emails???’
But you have to learn not to place too much of your worth in clicks or readers or comments. That just messes with your brain. I write because I like to write and I hope that sometimes my writing helps another person. And sometimes it does. And that makes it worth it. Even the posts that don’t seem to get any love.
But this last comment-less post? It was all about me writing a book. People have told me that I should write a book. But nobody said a word about it on this post. Maybe they’re tired of hearing from me. Maybe I no longer have anything worth saying. Maybe my life isn’t worth writing about. I have to say, it’s sticking with me.
So today I decided not to work on writing my book and instead I read one. Finished one, in fact. It’s been a while since I’ve read an entire book. But I wanted to read something that people regarded as well worth the read. Hopefully gather some inspiration. Some motivation. Some reason to go on with my own memoir.
And I honestly didn’t get what I was looking for. I didn’t get inspired or motivated to open Scrivner and get back to writing. But I did get something else. Something just as valuable. Something I might need even more in this particular season of life. I got a healthy dose of optimism. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the end of Jen Gotch’s book “The Upside of Being Down”...
“My own goal, for work but also for life, is to be better than great but less than perfect.”
“Self-acceptance is the antidote to self-doubt, and it’s kryptonite for perfection.”
“What’s perfect is so much less interesting than what’s real.”
“Optimists don’t obsess over negative circumstances or experiences, but instead they approach them with gratitude, humor, and acceptance. It’s not about pretending to be okay, it’s about truly believing that everything will be okay eventually, and that you will have a hand in that outcome.”
Wow. I call myself a realistic optimist and I honestly haven’t been feeling very optimistic right now. I have felt like a fraud recently. So full of shame that I haven’t told a single soul and now here I go broadcasting it on the World Wide Web.
But that last quote? It hit home hard. “It’s not about pretending to be okay, it’s about truly believing that everything will be okay eventually...” And I believe that I can say that is me. Which means that I am an optimist. But don’t forget that last part, ...”and that you will have a hand in that outcome.” Now THAT’S the part I’ve been missing. Forgetting that everything will be ok IF I invest in an ok outcome. I have to become part of the equation. I can’t just sit here thinking it will be ok but doing nothing to make it so. Optimism requires action. And sometimes I miss that part.
So I need to do something. I have a few things in my mind that have been planted by others. Am I brave enough to take the step and do something? To boldly declare my optimism? I’d like to say yes. No, I will say yes. Yes. Yes I will. I just haven’t decided which of those seeds I will I take hold of and run with. That one’s a little bit harder.
But I’ll get there.
(This is my first attempt at blogging using my iPad instead of my computer, so stick with me if something looks weird and broken...it’s just a reflection of my soul.)
