poked
I don’t have anything earth shattering to share today, but I have something to say nonetheless.
I had to get labs drawn yesterday for a routine doctors appointment. They were fasting labs, so I went early. I don’t use the word “trauma” lightly and I’ve never 100% understood what people meant when they say they experience medical trauma. But I do now.
I have never really been bothered by the process of having blood drawn. It’s just a part of life and has never actually hurt. But yesterday I almost had a panic attack during my blood draw and I can tell you exactly why.
When I was in Texas for inpatient treatment in January 2023, one of my electrolyte levels was dangerously low. There was a period of time when I was having labs drawn 3 times a day. And each draw took at least 3 tries. They stuck me all over my arms and hands. I was bruised everywhere and every stick hurt. It got to the point where I would just sob during the attempts because my tolerance to being poked was totally maxed out. Even drinking 16 ounces out of water 6 times a day did nothing to improve the situation. It was seriously terrible. It was traumatic.
I used to be a very easy stick. I’m not entirely sure what has happened over the last few years, but that is no longer the case. When I had labs drawn yesterday morning, it took the phlebotomist 3 tries to be successful.
I started out telling her that my hands are usually where phlebotomists have the best luck. She said she doesn’t like to use hands if she can help it.
She was having trouble finding a good spot and asked me if I had consumed any water that morning. I said yes, I am very diligent with my water consumption, especially prior to a blood draw.
When she was finally successful, she told me 2 things:
“You need to tell the phlebotomist to use your hands.”
“You need to drink water before your blood draw.”
Ok…
A…I DID tell you to use my hands. You just didn’t believe I knew what I was talking about.
B…I DID drink water before my lab work. I drank so much it made me sick to my stomach. I TOLD you that, too.
She was gaslighting me into thinking that the mistake was mine. It was MY fault that it was so difficult for her to draw my blood.
WHAT?
Medical trauma and gaslighting by medical professionals are real. No wonder so many people don’t get the medical attention they need. They fear judgement, pain, and the reality that their struggles may not be validated.
I’m lucky in the fact that I am aware of these things and don’t allow them to prevent me from seeking the treatment I need. But it can be exhausting. It can be stressful and anxiety-provoking.
If you are facing similar struggles, please remember:
You know yourself and your truth better than anyone else. Even a super-special-specialist. Don’t let them tell YOU how YOU feel.
Bring a list of symptoms/concerns that you have. Take the list out and go through it with them.
Bring a list of detailed questions. Once again, take the list out and ask every single question. Write down the answers!!
Listen and be open. They are the experts in their field. You are the expert on you. Collaborate and work together to solve your problems!
Rinse and repeat. If you do not feel comfortable with the provider. If you do not receive recommendations that adequately treat your issues. If you do not feel heard or understood. GET A SECOND OPINION.
Your health is precious and deserves A+ care. Only you can ensure that you receive it. Advocate for yourself relentlessly. It is well worth the effort!