Heavy

This one is going to be short and sweet and to the point.  Promise.

I was scrolling through my Facebook profile feed like I sometimes do.  Just looking back at what I've posted most recently.  I do that sometimes.  It gives me perspective.  And I didn't like what I saw.

What I saw was a lot of negativity.  And I didn't mean the stuff I posted to be negative.  It just was.  Like my blog, I try to keep my Fb feed real and relevant.  And most recently it's been a bit of a downer.  So I get a little bit conflicted about whether or not to post let's say...hip updates.  Or should I just find a happy alpaca picture and post that?  Or just not post anything at all?

I think I post that stuff because right now life is kind of heavy.  People I know, care about, and love are suffering.  Like real true suffering.  Not some stupid hip pain that could be fixed with a scalpel.  And it makes me sad.  Like super sad.  But it's not my sadness to share on the www.  It's theirs.  So all I'm left with is heavy.

So I post the negative stuff because it's real.  Usually that's mixed in with some hopeful stuff, so it doesn't weigh so much, you know?  But I haven't done that recently and I realize that.

So if you think I'm just complaining about my pain and my life, I'm really not.  Sure, I found out today that I re-tore my labral graft.  And yeah, they closed down my favorite Starbucks in Arlington.  And my prescription that was supposed to be ready at 5:15 still isn't ready (it's 7pm).  But that's peanuts.  Less than peanuts, actually.  Like I'm ashamed to even say them out loud.

There are people in real agony.  People facing real life-altering diagnoses.  People losing family members forever.  And that's just been weighing heavy on my soul.  And I thought that you should know.

So if you're a praying person, please pray.  For my family.  My friends.  And ask the people around you how you can be praying for them and their loved ones.  Because there is a lot of hurt out there.  A lot.  And I think what we all could use is...some prayer.

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